


And it's a long way forward, so trust in me

by aeriamamaduck



Series: TES AUs [6]
Category: Elder Scrolls IV: Oblivion
Genre: Absent Parents, Alternate Universe - College/University, Alternate Universe - Kindergarten & Pre-school, Anxiety, Babysitting, Children, College professor!Martin, F/M, Family, Family Fluff, Gen, Guy is not Martin's biological son, Martin is 37, Meet-Cute, Minerva is 21, Mother-Son Relationship, Motherhood, Overworking, POV Multiple, Parent-Child Relationship, Parenthood, Past Relationship(s), Past Underage Sex, Reference to past teen drinking, Single Parent!Minerva, Teen Pregnancy, Underage Drinking
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2016-11-15
Updated: 2017-01-05
Packaged: 2018-08-31 04:34:58
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 3
Words: 7,846
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/8564263
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/aeriamamaduck/pseuds/aeriamamaduck
Summary: Four-year-old Guy Saturnius mixes up apartment numbers and ends up knocking on Martin Septim's door.





	1. Chapter 1

_**Martin** _

An insistent knocking at his door drew Martin away from his grading, the pen he'd been chewing on falling from his mouth and clattering onto the keyboard when he started in surprise. 

He frowned, wondering what on earth this visitor wanted and why they didn't just ring his bell. He got to his feet and went to answer, trying to think of who it could be. It couldn't be because of a noise complaint. Martin only ever listened to his music through headphones, and the television hardly ever saw any real use.

More knocking followed by a whine, " _Mommy!_ My key doesn't work! Open up!"

Martin froze. A kid? 

He heard another voice, a little bit older sounding, say, "Guy, I'm pretty sure your apartment was over  _there_."

"Nuh-uh. It's  _gotta_ be 210...doesn't it?"

Martin snorted softly and made his way to the door. Poor child had to be lost, so it would be best to help him find the right apartment. Come to think of it he'd probably been part of the family that moved in to an apartment on this floor three days before. They hadn't made much noise themselves, and Martin hadn't seen much of them over the weekend. Likely they were still settling in.

He opened the door and looked down to find three boys standing in the hallway, all of them wearing the same confused look. The two older ones were blond, blue-eyed, and the youngest had black hair and green eyes, round with uncertainty.

The oldest boy gave the youngest a gentle nudge. "Told you!"

The little boy blushed and looked away briefly before turning his gaze back to Martin. "Sorry, sir."

Martin had to bite back a chuckle, in spite of how impressed he was with the boy. He was definitely brave. Deciding to give him a break, Martin knelt down to his level and said with a smile, "I hear you're looking for your apartment, young man."

The boy smiled back at him and nodded enthusiastically. "Yeah. We were playing on the slides in the playground, but it's almost dinner time. I thought it was 210, but..." He glanced up at the room number, as if wondering why it had suddenly changed places on him.

Suddenly Martin heard a door opening across the hall, and looked up to see a girl nearly identical to the little boy peering out, her brows rising when she spotted the three boys by Martin's door. She came out wearing a dark blue hoodie that looked a size too big for her and red joggers that were torn on one knee. Placing her hands on her hips she called out sternly, "I  _thought_ I heard you all out here! You know you're not supposed to be making this much noise in the hallway!"

"Sorry, Minerva!" exclaimed one of the blonds before they both bolted towards the open door. Minerva shook her head after them before walking towards the boy who was left behind. Martin got to his feet and watched her raise a brow at him, a gentle smile softening the look.

The boy gave her a sheepish look and explained, "I got lost."

Minerva gave a small laugh and ruffled his black hair. She put her hands on his shoulders and turned to look at Martin, just as sheepish as the child. "Sorry if Guy bothered you. He's still getting used to the building."

Martin gave her a reassuring smile, and winked at Guy. "He wasn't bothering me at all. Your brother seems very well-behaved."

The smile left Minerva's face, and a deep flush crept down her neck. Guy frowned, confused, and looked at her. "Mommy, why does he think I'm your brother?"

Oh.

 _Nice going, Martin_.

Once he got over the initial disbelief (because really, she didn't even _look_  old enough to have a kid) and the surprise, it was Martin's turn to flush. He watched Minerva's hand stroke Guy's hair with such tenderness and cleared his throat to attempt at an apology. "I-I'm sorry, I shouldn't have assumed..."

Minerva, still blushing, nodded and gave him an understanding smile. "It's fine. It happens all the time. We do kind of look like siblings..." She gave Guy's head a final pat and told him softly, "Go on inside. Dinner's almost ready."

"Okay." He started to leave but stopped and turned to look at Martin. "I'm Gaius Saturnius. What's your name?"

"It's Martin. Martin Septim," he replied, glancing at Minerva.

Guy nodded, accepting his answer, and gave him a wave before going towards his apartment. "See you around!"

Now alone, he and Minerva seemed to be more interested in looking at their shoes. Bless her, she was brave enough to start up again first. "I'm Minerva. The other two boys were my nephews, Harald and Haakon. I promise, they'll keep all loud noises in the playground."

She looked completely serious about reassuring him that Martin raised his hands placatingly. "You won't hear any complaints from me. I hope you'll all enjoy living here."

Her eyes seemed to glow with relief as she looked at him. "Thanks. I'll see you around."

Martin nodded and watched her walk back to her apartment, waiting until she closed her door behind her to close his and get back to grading papers.

* * *

_**Minerva** _

Against her mother's advice, Minerva stayed with Guy well after he fell asleep. Mom always said kids needed to learn how to soothe themselves to sleep, but Minerva wanted Guy to feel safe in his new room in their new apartment. She watched him hug his stuffed bunny a little tighter, burying his face in its ear.

It was a beat-up brown bunny with a missing eye, a gift for his third birthday. Minerva really had to fight her parents on it, but in the end she won that argument and the look of absolute love on her baby's face was worth it. He immediately named his bunny 'Raptor,' justifying himself by saying that it sounded awesome.

She bent down to kiss his hair and got to her feet to leave the room, closing the door as quietly as possible. She leaned against the door and looked at the boxes that still needed unpacking and decided to deal with them tomorrow. With all of the online coursework she needed to catch up with and the three boys to take care of, Minerva was exhausted. She wanted a hot shower and her comfortable bed.

Her phone let out a notification ping and Minerva retrieved it, her stomach tightening in that familiar way when she saw a text from her father. Taking a deep breath she opened it.

**From: Dad**

**Is everything alright? Did Helvedur's boys behave themselves? Has Guy gone to bed? Did you get your reading done?**

Minerva smiled, relaxing at the fairly innocent line of questioning. It had taken them a long while to get to this point, and far too many arguments, but things were admittedly better compared to when Minerva first found out she was pregnant.

She was seventeen and dating Leontes Sintav, who was only a week older than she. She'd met him when they were sophomores, his seat right behind hers in their German class. He was nice to look at, charming, opinionated, and funny. It was so easy to talk to him, the minutes racing by as they talked ceaselessly during lunch, their food nearly forgotten and growing cold on their trays.

He asked her out the first time just as school was ending, the days suddenly brighter and warmer than they had ever been before. It was a simple walk along the park near Minerva's house, one she had played in thousands of times, and she and Leontes talked for a long time, mostly about what he wanted to do, what her parents expected her to do, and what they could do that summer.

She had taken a cold drink from a water fountain right before he kissed her, her surprised inhale icy and bracing as he pulled her closer and deepened the kiss.

After that came a time that seemed to be out of a wild dream, wonderful moments of pure happiness that one yearned for after waking. Leontes never quite charmed her parents, who would only give him stony stares when he spent time at their house, but his parents were very welcoming when he introduced her as his girlfriend, and his mother gave her an approving look when she left the dinner table one evening to call her parents and check in.

School started again and Minerva could not stop smiling, walking down the halls while holding Leontes's hand, caught up in the words to every love song she'd ever heard and for the first time believing in them. 

In mid-autumn they were both invited to a friend's birthday party, and Minerva was hard-pressed to get permission from her parents. It took weeks of chores, polite replies, and weekend jogging to get them to agree and she nearly knocked Leontes over when she ran to meet him with a hug at the end of her street.

Their friend's parents were nowhere to be found. Someone's older brother brought in alcohol and almost everyone was paired off, bodies wrapped around each other as they kissed frantically, but thankfully no one was unclothed. 

Leontes, knowing his parents would check his breath as soon as he walked in the door, didn't drink, and Minerva didn't even  _dare_ to think about drinking. They wandered around, not even able to find the guest of honor, eventually giving up and settling in a quiet room by themselves.

It was in a stranger's room that Minerva let everything go beyond kisses, too excited to think about anything else save how grateful she was that Leontes had a condom in his wallet.

About a week before winter break began, Minerva was throwing up in the school bathroom. A visit to the nurse and some probing questions suddenly broke Minerva out of her youthful dream and she found herself buying a pregnancy test after school.

She told her parents first.

Their words of disappointment hit her deep and she broke down in tears in front of them. They had expected her to join the army once she was eighteen, let them pay her way through college, to make something of herself before even  _considering_ starting a family.

Her father walked out of the room and up the stairs, slamming a door closed and making Minerva flinch through her tears. Her mother could only stand there, her silence deafening.

It wasn't that she merely went against their expectations. She'd broken their hearts. They'd wanted her to move beyond their less than ideal childhood in the foster care system, and they thought it would never happen.

She'd proven them wrong at least.

When she told Leontes she expected him to be afraid. She expected him to be as terrified as she was.

She didn't expect him to be furious at her.

He shouted such awful things to her, telling her that she was so stupid for ruining everything, for telling her parents first and guaranteeing that they'd hate him forever. That now his own parents would never trust him again because surely her parents would want to talk to his.

Her heart shattered into pieces, Minerva shouted back that she didn't need him at all. She'd do just fine on her own, and that she wished she'd never met him.

She supposed she decided to keep the baby to spite him, at first.

Everyone talked. In whispers. Openly. Teachers rolled their eyes at her when she began to show, as if she had committed a crime. Leontes and their once-shared group of friends shunned her, and Minerva ate alone.

Her parents didn't shout at her again. No, they shouted at the Sintavs, telling them that they had raised a coward. They shot back that they weren't going to let a careless girl jeopardize their son's future.

Minerva tried to ignore them. She went to her doctor's appointments, ate what she was supposed to, and studied hard. She got the first sonogram pictures and pasted them on the refrigerator where she and her parents would see them every day. No one would ever call her careless again.

She gave birth to a boy the summer before her senior year, and fell in love for the second time in her life. She named him after her father and gave him her last name. She felt a little guilty for being so grateful that he looked nothing like Leontes, but that went away after his brief visit after she texted him to let him know she'd had the baby.

He walked into the room, sullen-faced with his hands deep in his pockets. Had her parents been in the room they would have kicked him out, but they were in the cafeteria. Minerva didn't say a word as he peered into the bassinet holding baby Guy, but his expression didn't change at all.

"What's his name?"

Minerva glared at him, hating him more than she'd ever hated anyone before, and answered coldly, "Gaius Saturnius."

He nodded and lingered for a moment before muttering, "Bye," and walking out of the room.

She missed her senior year taking care of Guy and he graduated, going to college out of state while she changed diapers and washed bottles. 

Her parents adjusted to having a baby in the house, and even helped Minerva with his care when it looked like she was going to burn out. Minerva returned to school once she weaned Guy successfully and went on ignoring the stares, the whispers, the eye-rolling.

Everything seemed fine until her mother got a call from the hospital telling them that her father had been hit by a drunk driver while driving home. The spinal injury resulted in his paralysis, and Minerva had never seen her parents so defeated.

It didn't last long. Minerva's stubbornness didn't come out of thin air.

Her father had been using a wheelchair ever since then, and her mother was diligent in helping him with his therapy. Even Guy helped in his own way, his babbles and toddling lifting her father's spirits.

The following June, Minerva received her diploma in her outstretched hand, smiling defiantly and walking off the stage to hug her baby in front of everyone in attendance. She cried when she saw her father's proud look.

Minerva opted for online college courses for the sake of raising her son, along with babysitting her cousin's sons during the day for some extra cash. The move was partly so she would stop feeling so guilty for imposing on her parents for so long, but mostly so she and Guy had a place all to themselves, without the past tugging Minerva into melancholy.

It was hard and would likely get harder. But Minerva was grateful that she could at least still count on her parents' financial and moral support.

She answered his text.

**To: Dad**

**Everything's ok. The boys were total angels. Guy fell asleep five minutes ago. Yes, I finished my reading. Just getting ready to turn in.**

It was a minute before he replied.

**From: Dad**

**Goodnight, then.**

He or her mother had texted goodnight to her every night since the move. She was grateful for it.

**To: Dad**

**Goodnight Dad. Goodnight Mom.**

Minerva set her phone aside and got up to head to the shower, pausing for a moment at Guy's door to press her ear to it and make sure everything was fine.

She smiled at the thought of him happy and comfortable in his new bed.

Oh, yes. He was definitely worth it. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> **My tumblr** : aeriamamaduck


	2. Chapter 2

**_Minerva_**  

Minerva had learned long ago that life could throw some serious curveballs.

One of them was insomnia.

It was her own damn fault for throwing off her sleep schedule on Sunday, sleeping in until Guy had to shake her awake, pop tart in his mouth. She groaned at the memory, remembering when she was nursing and swearing up and down that her baby would never eat junk.

Hilde kept reassuring her that one had to allow one’s self minor slips like that or else life would get harder than it already was.

_Well, it looks pretty fucking miserable from where I’m sitting._

The night itself had been long and exhausting, and none of it enough to make her sleepy even if she only managed about three hours of sleep. She had lain awake scrolling through her phone, regretting not having taken a sleeping pill earlier even if she woke up groggy and listless. At least her head wouldn’t be pounding and her stomach wouldn’t have been rolling uncomfortably like it was now.

She tried tiring herself out by doing some of her reading for class (she ended up doing all of it) and looking at the pictures she took of Guy trying to wear his grandfather’s too-big wheelchair gloves during their first family dinner in the new apartment on Friday evening. It had gone fairly well and Minerva was proud of the good meal she’d made. Every time Guy asked for seconds Minerva grinned with pride. Her mother had inspected the apartment with a critical eye, asking questions about heating and air conditioning, whether or not the super was a diligent man, and if the playground outside was safe for Guy, Harald, and Haakon.

Minerva answered every doubt, and when they left she was relieved at how she’d handled everything.

Nope. Not careless at all.

Unless she was trying to get to sleep at a reasonable hour on a Sunday night. Then all bets were off.

She was sitting on a bench next to the playground outside the building, digging the heels of her hands into her tightly shut eyes to ease the ache there. At least she’d gotten Guy settled into his preschool. It was the same that her nephews had attended, and Hilde had many good things to say about the teachers.

Now Minerva had to deal with the fallout of insomnia, which sucked completely since she had to take care of her nephews for a few hours. _I’m going to die…Just drop dead of exhaustion next to a playground…_

“Hey, are you alright?”

She quickly raised her head to find a man looking down at her, brow furrowed in bewilderment. It was the man whose apartment Guy had confused for theirs, Martin Septim. She hadn’t thought much about the man since meeting him, only to be grateful that he’d been so understanding of a little boy’s mistake and to have a private laugh at herself after he’d assumed Guy was her little brother. It wasn’t the first time it happened and she was sure it wouldn’t be the last. Minerva blinked hurriedly, hoping her eyes didn’t turn red after she’d rubbed them, or else she’d make a pretty sight. “Fine! Fine,” she assured him. “I’m just running on no sleep. I just got Guy settled into school.”

He nodded in understanding, a sympathetic smile softening his gaze further. “I can get you some coffee if--”

Minerva quickly raised a hand, a slight flush warming her face at the offer. “Thanks, but I don’t think coffee would do my empty stomach a ton of favors.” She shut her eyes again and sat back, the late summer breeze offering some small comfort.

“Rough night?”

“Oh, yeah,” she said, gazing at the still green leaves on the trees lining the street. Odd how only a few years ago the years had passed by as slowly as paint drying, and now they were passing by so quickly, and Minerva was struggling to catch up. “Between Guy and my online classes, night’s the only time I really get to myself anymore ever since high school, but my mind’s still going a million miles an hour even when I’m trying to fall asleep.”

“It’s just you and your son?” he asked, and she didn’t hear shock in his voice. Only mild curiosity.

She nodded a silent reply. “My parents check in every day, and I’m glad we have a place to ourselves, but it’s been…hard,” she found herself admitting, in spite of all her early confidence. “You’d think I’d be used to it, but now I just feel like the oldest twenty-one year old. The kids and my coursework have me beat.”

She glanced at Martin, finding him giving her a small smile as he said reassuringly, “From where I’m sitting you’re doing pretty good. It’s your son’s first day of school! Congratulations on becoming the proud parent of a future scholar!”

Minerva giggled at that. “God, he’s only four! Give him a few years before making him read _Dante’s Inferno._ ” She did smile wistfully at the idea of her baby being a great student, but for the next couple of months she wanted to focus on helping him learn how to read and do basic math. She glanced down and looked at the beaten-up book bag he’d been lugging. “Are you a student too?” she asked impulsively.

“Professor, actually,” he replied. “I teach history at KU. Are you a student there? I haven’t seen you around campus.”

She shook her head and answered, “No, I take online classes.” She sighed and drew stiff fingers through her hair, giving a brief grimace at the slightly oily feel across her scalp. “I should try and take a nap before I have to go pick the boys up.” She got to her feet and rubbed her eyes again, tired and nervous. “I hope to God I hear the alarm…all three of them,” she said, cutting herself off with a yawn and getting to her feet. She turned and gave Martin a tired smile. “I’ll see you around.”

He smiled back and gave her a wave. “Sleep well and good luck.”

Minerva made it to her apartment and kicked her sneakers off at the door once she was inside. She made her way to her room and took her phone out as she sat on the edge of her bed, making sure the volume was obnoxiously high and the vibration was on. Forget three alarms, she put five. No way was she going to ruin Guy’s first day of school by not being there in time to pick him up.

She tugged her jeans off and tossed them at the foot of her bed, putting on her comfortable pair of sleeping shorts. The jeans were a little tight on her slightly thick waist, so switching them for something looser was like a breath of fresh air. At least with the boys in school she could start exercising again, and also make a marked effort to cut down on the mountains of junk food when she was doing schoolwork.

_I suppose I could just not use the elevator altogether. Just use the stairs. Let’s just focus on getting up in time to pick Guy up._

Her knee shook as her anxiety mounted, her hand lingering on the phone when she set it on her nightstand. “Come on, don’t make me let Guy down,” she muttered, her eyes closing with absolute exhaustion. She wished she could have the luxury of a longer nap, but such luxuries were a thing of the past. Poor Guy had looked so nervous when she dropped him off and she’d seen his eyes shining with tears he was trying so hard not to shed in front of his new teacher. She’d promised she’d pick him up and he could tell her all about preschool, and Minerva was going to make good on that promise. She let herself fall on the mattress with a soft whine, and mercifully all thought fled as sleep finally claimed her.

She jerked awake after the second alarm, having she’d turned off the first one and falling back asleep almost immediately after. She pinched her cheeks, arms, and clambered to her feet, grabbing her phone and noting with relief that she wasn’t running late. “Oh thank God!” she croaked, tossing the phone on the bed and running to the bathroom to wash her face. Looking into the mirror she was dismayed to see that she did have some dark shadows underneath her eyes and that her skin in general looked pale. Forcing a smile felt like a Herculean effort, but damn it she was going to make it for Guy’s sake.

It was bad enough that his own father wanted nothing to do with him. Minerva never wanted to make him feel insecure or guilty. From the moment he was born she wanted the world for him and maybe even some of it for herself once she was sure he was going to be fine.

Leontes had let them down, but Minerva refused to let Guy down.

She rolled on some deodorant and pulled on a clean shirt, tugging at the wrinkles before retrieving her too-tight jeans and putting them back on. She brushed her hair and gave herself one final look in the mirror. She still looked a little exhausted, and no doubt she’d be one of the youngest people picking up a kid, but Minerva resolved to ignore the staring, and maybe even the intrusive questions.

Giving her reflection a nod she headed out, picking up her keys and walking out the door.

She spotted Martin at the threshold of his apartment, an arm curled around a paper bag of groceries. He paused and turned to her, brows lifting as he smiled. “Hey, you’re awake!”

Minerva gave a soft laugh, hoping he didn’t notice how worn-out she was. “Sure am.”

“Glad it worked out. You’ll say hello to your son for me?”

She beamed at him, touched by his kind gesture for some reason. “Yeah, I will! I’ll see you later.” Before turning to head towards the stairs she noticed movement behind Martin’s shoulder and spotted a woman looking right at her, brown eyes bright with curiosity. _His mother, maybe?_

But it wasn’t the time to ask those kinds of questions. Minerva wanted to get to the school and make sure Guy saw her standing outside, waiting for him with a smile on her face.

* * *

 

 ** _Martin_**  

“She’s pretty.”

Martin closed the door and turned to give his mother a wry smile. Varinia Jones wasn’t known for her subtlety, but Martin had had a lifetime to get used to his mother’s nature. “Yes. Yes she is,” he said simply as he walked back to the table and set the bag of groceries on it before starting to sort everything out.

He could feel her eyes on him and imagined her smirking as she teased, “I was starting to wonder if you’d ever meet anyone in this place.”

“Mom, come on,” he groaned, shutting the refrigerator door and turning to give her a lightly exasperated look. He knew she worried about how lonely he seemed, given his poor state after the car accident that killed his friends and left him injured when he was twenty-four. It had been more than a decade since then, and even with weekly support meetings and his occupation, Martin hadn’t been interested in anyone beyond a first, second, and rarely a third date. Frankly getting in too deep with anyone made him feel like he needed to get away before they looked too closely at him and found something despicable. “I think she has enough on her plate without me adding more to it.”

His mother gave a shrug, her optimistic grin making her look like a young girl rather than a woman in her mid-sixties. “Ah, she looks like she could handle even your bad moods, sweetie.”

He quirked a brow and gave her a hard stare as he thought about the hours spent looking at a spot on the wall as he pressed a hand to the spot over his ribs, wondering why he had survived. Hours when he was too tired to move or even think. Hell, he couldn’t even stand himself in those hours, how could someone else do it? “Now why would I want to make her go through that? She’s a single mother with a four-year-old.”

“That’s not so unusual nowadays!” Varinia replied with a wave of her hand.

“She’s twenty-one.”

The smile quickly disappeared, replaced by a look of surprise with a tiny flicker of admiration. Martin knew very well how the topic hit close to home for his mother. His parents had been trying to adopt after she’d undergone a hysterectomy and were introduced to a nineteen-year-old named Gemile who’d had a short-lived affair with a much older widower and found out she was pregnant. The man never asked to marry her and her parents disowned her, but Lucius and Varinia had grown sympathetic to the girl and helped cover her medical expenses, along with others that showed up as she painstakingly kept attending college, in spite of the blatant disapproval she faced when her condition showed. Due to their newfound relationship, the three of them agreed to an open adoption so Gemile could still be in Martin’s life, even at a distance. “My God,” Varinia breathed. “How on earth does she cope?”

“I have no clue,” Martin replied. “She and her son moved here about two weeks ago. Cute kid. He accidentally knocked on my door because he thought it was theirs.” He smirked at the memory of that boy bravely looking up at him and speaking boldly. “I actually embarrassed myself when I met her. They look like brother and sister, and I thought--”

Mouth agape with shock, Varinia exclaimed with a bark of laughter, “Martin, you _didn’t!_ ”

Martin glared at her, the back of his neck prickling with mild embarrassment. “You would’ve made the same mistake!”

Even so his mother persisted, “God, it’s a miracle even looked at you when she came out that door! She _must_ like you.”

“Now that’s an idea,” Martin replied dryly. He could admit that Minerva was nice to look at, but he doubted she could ever be interested in him. At the most they might only be friendly neighbors, but Martin couldn’t really imagine things going farther than that.

He didn’t want anyone’s life ruined just because he was no good.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> **My tumblr** : aeriamamaduck


	3. Chapter 3

**_Minerva_ **

Alright, so it wasn’t the grandest tree, or even a big one, but at least it wasn’t a thin branch with a single red ball weighing it down. _No offense, Charlie._  

It was three feet tall and overloaded in tinsel. Multi-colored lights flickered on and off, effectively giving off a sufficiently Christmas-y feeling to last them through the two weeks before Christmas. Minerva couldn’t have been prouder of it. “There. Our perfect tree!” She turned to Guy with a broad and prideful grin. “What do you think?”

He stared at the tree, his brow slightly furrowed as if looking with a truly critical eye. “It’s a great tree,” he said noncommittally. “So…we’re staying here for Christmas?”

The corner of her mouth gave the slightest twitch at the disappointment she could hear in his tone. He was likely comparing their humble little tree to the seven-footer he and his grandmother decorated the year before. Minerva had hoped he’d be excited, in spite of how small both their apartment and tree were. She kept her voice light and replied, “That’s right. Our first Christmas at our new home! Aren’t you excited?”

Guy bit his lip and looked away from her, his worry blatant.

“Guy, what’s wrong?”

He turned back to her, his eyes wide and frantic. “How’s Santa gonna find us? Does he know we moved? Maybe he still thinks we live at Grammy and Grampa’s!”

So that was it. He was worried about Santa Claus finding them? The tightness in Minerva’s chest dissipated within seconds and she couldn’t help sighing in relief. “Oh, Guy! You don’t have to worry about that! When we send him your list we can put our new address on the envelope so he’ll know _exactly_ where we are.”

He gave her a hopeful smile. “Really?”

“Really. So what are you planning on putting on your list?”

He counted on his fingers. “Rollerblades, a two-wheeler bike--”

“You’re gonna mention training wheels, right?”

“ _Moooom!”_

“What else?”

He scratched his head and sat down in front of the tree, poking at the cut out paper star he’d drawn with purple marker that hung from one of the branches. “…I can’t think of anything else…”

“Well, let’s see if it comes back to you,” Minerva said, taking advantage of his preoccupation by hopping onto her couch and opening her laptop, perusing course notes she’d been meaning to highlight.

Suddenly Guy exclaimed, “Wait! I know what else I want!” He got to his feet and quickly went to stand in front of Minerva, hopping on the balls of his feet while she closed her laptop again and gave him her full attention. Flushed with excitement he said, “I want to meet my daddy.”

Minerva felt her smile disappear before she could do anything about it, the word “daddy” instantly making her stomach plummet worse than the thought of Guy feeling ashamed of their tree. She had known in the back of her mind that she’d have to deal with Guy’s curiosity one day, but not so soon. Not when Leontes’s angry words were still fresh in her mind. She didn’t know what she was supposed to tell Guy when it came to his biological father. She didn’t want to tell him his own father had barely given him a single glance, or seen even a photo of him in the last four years.

Guy, his smile having disappeared, looked slightly afraid. “…Mommy?”

Minerva took a breath and hoped she remembered how to make her voice work. She needed to think fast and in a way that would make her son understand. “…I…don’t know if Santa can make that happen, Guy.” _I know I can’t make it happen._

Crestfallen, Guy asked, “Why not?”

“Because…toys are easier for Santa, and he’s got enough work to do.” Even she wanted to roll her eyes at herself for such a lame excuse. _Way to sell it, Minerva._

“Well…maybe _you_ could call him?” Guy asked, obviously undeterred by her weak line of reasoning.

At least Minerva could honestly say, “I don’t know his number, sweetie.” She’d never attempted to call him after he blew up at her, save to let him know she’d had Guy, and doubted his number was still the same after four years.

“We could find him!” Guy insisted with a stubborn gleam in his eye, one Minerva was afraid of.

This couldn’t end well for any of them, and she didn’t want Guy to get hurt. All she could give him was the safest, yet blunt, explanation. “He might not want to be found, kiddo.”

The sad look that flitted across his round face made her heart ache. “Why? Is he mad at me?”

“No!” she nearly shouted, setting her laptop aside and pulling him in for a hug. “…No, sweetie.” _He’s mad at me. He thinks I tried to ruin his life. He never wanted a baby._ She held Guy tight to her chest, kissing his cheek and combing her fingers through his hair. _Fuck it._ “…Look…I’ll see what I can do, but…Try not to get your hopes up too much, okay?”

“…Okay,” he answered quietly, looking up and giving her a small, reassuring smile that didn’t quite reach his eyes.

Hers didn’t either.

* * *

 

**_Martin_ **

Martin pocketed his change and quickly stepped out of the line once he had his coffee and muffin. It probably wasn’t the most glamorous lunch, but it would have to be enough to get him through the next three hours’ worth of classes, grading, and appointments with individual students who looked more frazzled than he’d ever felt during his time as an undergrad.

The coffee place was pleasant enough to attract both staff and students, but at the moment the latter seemed to have taken over and Martin wasn’t exactly eager to share a table with his students.

Movement caught his attention and he turned to find a familiar young woman waving at him from a table only she occupied, a wide smile on her face. “Martin! Hi! Sit over here!”

He gave her a grateful smile and headed to join her. In the past months he’d found himself pausing to have a quick word with his neighbor and her son more than once, exchanging greetings if they happened to run into each other in the mornings and afternoons when he was loaded with papers and she was wrangling energetic little boys.

Surprisingly she wasn’t surrounded by kids today. “Nice to see you. Where’s Guy?” he asked, sitting down in front of her.

“My parents picked him up, along with my nephews,” she explained. He noticed how the light in her eyes seemed to fade when he mentioned Guy. “They wanted to help pick out my Christmas present. I got the afternoon to myself.”

He frowned slightly, a little concerned. “You don’t look too happy about it,” he commented as lightly as he could.

Minerva tore off a bit of her croissant with her fingers, and Martin noticed that half of it had already been shredded without her having eaten a single piece. “I mostly came here because the apartment felt too lonely…I can’t even concentrate on studying…”

She did look a little more harried than usual, even without kids to care for. “Something on your mind?” he asked softly.

She took a long drink of her coffee as if to brace herself, though nothing could’ve prepared Martin for what she said. “…Guy wants to meet his dad for Christmas.”

He knew of course that Gaius had a father, but had never set eyes on him in all the months that Minerva had been his neighbor. It wasn’t his place to ask, but the fact that Minerva seemed to be Guy’s only parent made him hazard the guess that his father wasn’t a part of their lives. Guy never even mentioned a father. “I’m guessing you’re not on good terms with him…”

Minerva let out a bitter chuckle, eyes darkening with whatever thoughts spun behind them. “That’s putting it mildly. He blew up when I told him I was pregnant…and then walked out for good when Guy was a day old. Barely even glanced at him.” She looked down at her cup, glaring at its contents as if she were looking at the man’s face again. “Prick.”

Martin hated to imagine anyone being so cruel to Minerva or Guy, who had a habit of showing unrestrained affection to the people around him. “Minerva, I’m sorry,” he said.

She shook her head and rubbed at her temples, sighing heavily before giving him a reassuring smile. “Don’t be. It’s not your fault.” She took another drink as if she were suddenly incredibly thirsty. “Now I don’t know whether or not to call the jackass or just tell Guy that he’s too busy to see him…which will break his heart…”

Martin grimaced and gave his coffee a quick swallow. The situation was shitty enough, and with a child involved it would get worse. He remembered being that young, never really questioning why he had two mothers but one father, so long as they stayed in his life. “…And he’s never asked about his father before?”

She shook her head and said, “Just some harmless questions. Never something like this…I was afraid of it happening, really, once he started school and started noticing _more_ kids with both parents around…I thought he’d just be happy with me, but maybe that’s over.”

She started to look a little too convinced of Guy’s inevitable unhappiness. Before he knew it he was reaching across the table to cover her hand with his. “Hey. He may not get the dad that he wants, but that doesn’t mean he’ll love you any less. You’re still his mother, and from what I’ve seen he thinks you hung the moon.”

Minerva gave a wistful little smile at that, and her expressive green eyes seemed to brighten the tiniest bit even if she still looked like the world was crumbling around her. “Just the thought of calling the guy makes me feel sick to my stomach. I don’t want him near my kid, but…And how do you even tell your son that his own dad didn’t even want him from the start?”

 _You don’t_ , he thought. _No child should ever have to know that._ He could only tell her, “I suppose you just…love him as much as you can and wait for the right time…And if it comes sooner rather than later, try to give him the answer that…hurts the least?” It would no doubt hurt both of them and Martin could only hope they stayed as close as they were now.

“I’d rather it didn’t hurt,” Minerva said quietly. He grew alarmed to see her wiping tears from her cheeks, but she still managed a smile for him as she turned her hand up and clutched his fingers with hers, surprising him with the strength of her grip. “Thanks for…for listening…”

He squeezed back, giving her a warm smile. “You needed to talk about it, and I was glad to help. You’ve obviously been very brave about everything.”

“And lucky, I guess,” she added with a soft yet genuine laugh.

The hitch in his breath and his stuttering heart beat told him it was time to let go of her hand and cover it up by drinking his coffee.

_Easy, Martin. It was just a laugh. Nothing to make a fuss over._

* * *

 

**_Minerva_ **

Her parents would drop Guy off in an hour. Plenty of time for her to make the call. It was almost as if the universe wanted her to contact Leontes. Everything had fallen perfectly into place, starting with starting a somewhat awkward conversation with Siri Brosca from high school on social media. Lucky for her, Siri was good people, and she went to the same college as Leontes, along with being in the same class. She just so happened to have Leontes’s number after they recently had to partner up for a communications project.

Minerva dialed the number, her couch suddenly uncomfortable as she wriggled anxiously. “Here goes,” she muttered to herself, watching her thumb hover over the green call button for a few seconds before finally committing with a sharp exhale and tapping it.

Her stomach rolled when she heard the dial tone and she suddenly wanted to hang up, forget she ever had Leontes’s number, and even forget that the guy _existed_.

She wondered if he’d sound the same; Laughter in his voice and all the excitement of school giving way to a summer that seemed full of possibilities. Back then it seemed that they would take on the world together and come out on top.

Had that really only been four years ago?

A click and then finally a low voice, _“Hello? Leontes Sintav speaking.”_

Minerva nearly dropped the phone, suddenly thrown back to when she sat in that hospital bed, throat tight with anger after hearing Leontes mutter a short goodbye after giving Guy a disinterested glance.  “…”

_“Hello? Who is this?”_

She swallowed and took a breath to try and calm her shaking voice. “…It’s Minerva.”

He didn’t respond right away and Minerva half-feared and half-hoped he’d hang up. She couldn’t do this again, she didn’t _want_ to. Then he slowly said, _“Oh. Erm…Hi, Minerva.”_

It was as if he hadn’t accused her of ruining his life, like they were just catching up after a long separation. Like they didn’t have a son together. “Hi,” she said, not sure what else she could say by way of a greeting.

_“How’d you get this number?”_

She tensed at the accusation in his voice, and knew she couldn’t let Siri take the fall. “Mutual friend,” she replied as civilly as she could.

He groaned, _“Great…”_

Minerva steeled herself with her anger, reminding herself that she was doing this for Guy. “Look, I didn’t want to make this call, and I promise it’s not about money. We’re fine.”

_“Well then what the hell are you calling me for?”_

“It’s Gaius,” she ground out, hating to even talk about her baby with the person she hated the most. “He…He’d really like it if…you came and met him on Christmas. Or Christmas Eve. Whatever works.”

_“…”_

Silence, but not a click. She could hear him breathe and she began to panic, knowing what it meant. “…Listen, it’s a bad idea, and--”

He exploded, _“It’s a shitty idea! Minerva, I made it clear I didn’t want a kid. I signed away my rights. I thought that made it perfectly clear!”_

“I’m not asking you for the fucking moon, Leontes!” she shot back, tugging a hand through her hair in desperation. “Just…a-an hour of you acting like a decent human being! It’d mean the world to him.”

_“Look, if I go he’s just going to expect me to show up next year, and then birthdays, and every other holiday! Christ, Minerva, I’m not about to just jump into being the kid’s dad just because you can’t say ‘no’ to him!”_

She suddenly kicked out at the coffee table, upending it and throwing its contents to the floor (save the laptop she’d left on the kitchen table), fury blinding her to the pain in her foot as she shouted into the phone, “Fine, Leontes! Fine! I’ll tell him his father’s a good-for-nothing shit head who fucked me with a faulty condom in some stranger’s bedroom and decided to run home crying to mommy when things got too real!”

Her throat felt cut to ribbons after she said it but fuck it felt _good_ to lay it all out, ugly and honest, the way she’d wanted to for years.

But Leontes wasn’t finished, spitting back, _“I never asked you to stay pregnant, Minerva! You knew how I felt!”_

She wanted to punch him. She wanted to hurt him _so much_. Most of all she wanted Guy to hate him as much as she did. Enraged at him and at the tremble in her voice, Minerva replied acidly, “Yeah, you made _that_ crystal clear when you crawled up my ass about how I was ruining _your_ life! Just forget I even called, Leontes! Have a nice life!” She hung up and had enough foresight to throw her phone at the sofa. _“Shit!”_

She sat down, covering her face with her hands and crying bitter tears. She knew Guy would ask about Leontes. She knew her parents would see her swollen eyes and know something had gone wrong. She knew she needed to clean her living room up before they arrived, but she couldn’t move.

She lay down and clutched her aching stomach as she cried, her body heavy with exhaustion and overwhelming heartache.


End file.
